It's December already...

And if you're feeling the stress creeping in, you're not alone.

The holidays are supposed to be joyful, but they rarely are with family gatherings, work deadlines, holiday spending, and enough sugar and alcohol consumption to keep Charlie Sheen satisfied. 🧁🍷

(Maybe not that much but you get the point.)

And I didn't even mention trying to stay consistent with your training & nutrition while everyone is guilting you to do the opposite.

I get it.

Six years ago, I was dealing with a different kind of December stress.

I was staring at $70,999.93 in credit card debt. See the graph below.

My debt wasn't from bottles and models or living large. I wish! Although my wife is probably glad it's not. 😜

But from business coaches, courses, Facebook ads, and software, all in a desperate attempt to get my online fitness business off the ground.

I felt like I was drowning...

Every morning I woke up with a pit in my stomach. Every night I went to bed wondering if I'd ever dig myself out.

I was working 12-14 hour days, barely making progress, and watching my debt pile up like 50 Cent watching his money pile up. 💰

I was ready to quit.

Then a few close friends sat me down and said:

So I did.

And in the third month, right when my deadline hit, I made $19K.

I never looked back.

Fast forward: I paid off all $70K in 16 months. 🤯

I quadrupled my income the following year. I was able to afford an engagement ring, marry my wife, go through IVF, and bring our son into the world.

The greatest stressor of my life led to all the best things in my life.

That stress didn't destroy me. It forged me.

So when you're feeling stressed this holiday season about money, family, your body, your goals...

I want to show you how to stop fighting stress and start using it.

Let's dive in. 🚀

The Stress Mistake 99% of People Make

Here's what most people do when holiday stress hits...

They try to eliminate it.

They try to think their way out of it. Avoid family gatherings. Numb themselves with food and alcohol. And white-knuckle their way through the holidays.

But here's the problem:

🤔 Thinking stress away doesn't work. It just makes you feel crazy as your thoughts spiral and your mind ruminates spinning in circles.

🛑 Avoidance doesn't work. The stress builds up like a dragon growing larger beneath your bed before it's so big, you can't ignore it.

🥃 Numbing doesn't work either. You miss the moments that actually matter while trying to escape the discomfort.

🥵 And white-knuckling? That just leaves you exhausted, resentful, and counting down the days until it's over.

The real issue isn't the stress itself...

It's how we've been taught to think about stress. We've been told stress is bad. Harmful. Something to eliminate at all costs.

• But what if that's backwards?
• What if stress isn't the enemy?
• What if stress is actually proof that you care?

Here's what science says about stress. And it might just change your perspective on stress.

What Harvard Discovered About Stress (It's Not What You Think)

Harvard researchers ran a study on stress that flipped everything we thought we knew upside down.

They divided people into two groups:

• ⛔️ Group 1 was told that stress is dangerous. That it harms your health, kills your performance, and should be avoided at all costs.
• 💪🏻 Group 2 was told the opposite. That stress is your body preparing you to perform. That it's helpful, not harmful.

Then both groups were put through stressful situations.

Guess what happened?

Group 1 (the "stress is bad" group) had higher cortisol levels, more anxiety, and worse performance.

Group 2 (the "stress is helpful" group) performed better, recovered faster, and built resilience.

Same stressful situation; completely different outcomes. The only difference was how they interpreted the stress.

When you believe stress is harmful, it becomes harmful. When you believe stress is fuel, it becomes fuel.

This isn't just mindset BS. It's biology.

• When your heart races, that's more oxygen so you can think clearly.
• When your palms sweat, that's an evolutionary response for better grip.
• When your stomach tightens, that's your body preparing to act.

Stress isn't your body breaking down. 🙅🏼‍♂️
It's your body gearing up. 👊🏻

So the next time you're stressed about a family dinner, a tight budget, or how you look at a holiday party, try this reframe:

👉🏻 "My body isn't panicking. It's preparing me."

And if you want to dive deeper into this, read The Upside of Stress by Kelly McGonigal, PhD. 📚

It's one of the handful of books that literally changed my life.

The Hidden Gift in Your Holiday Stress

Here's the Jedi mind trick that changed everything for me:

🧠 If you didn't care, you wouldn't be stressed.

Think about it...

Holiday stress only shows up when something matters to you.

Stressed about giving a gift to your spouse? That's because you care about them and want to show your love and affection.

(For my wife, unfortunately, she feels most loved when the gift comes with a Prada, Chanel, Dior, or Louis Vuitton label on it. And preferably all four. 🤦🏼‍♂️ 😭)

Stressed about looking good at holiday parties? That’s not vanity. It's about self-respect, showing up well, and being perceived the way you want.

Stressed about your training and nutrition? That's because you care about your health, fitness, longevity, and the goals you've set.

Stressed about money? That's because you care about providing for your family, financial security, and being responsible.

Stress is directly linked to your values.
It shows up when something matters.

When you see it that way, stress stops feeling like a burden and starts feeling like a signal.

Earlier this week, I shared our IVF journey in detail...

That process was one of the most stressful experiences of my life. Watching my wife go through treatments, dealing with setbacks, the financial pressure, and the emotional roller coaster of it all.

But then I reminded myself: this stress, is bringing our son into the world. ❤️

That reframe changed everything.

The stress didn't go away. But it became purposeful instead of overwhelming. Suddenly, my stress had meaning.

After three years of treatments (and spending enough on IVF to put a down payment on a ski condo in Vail) we stopped thinking about the cost.

When we look at our son, hold him, or watch him smile, the stress is a distant memory. And worth every penny.

(Even if we’re renting in Tahoe instead of owning in Vail. 🏔️😝)

So here's what I want you to do...

Think about what's stressing you out right now. Then ask yourself: "What does this stress reveal about what I care about?"

When you connect stress to your values, it stops being the enemy. It becomes proof that you're living a life that actually matters.

Reset Your Nervous System in 15 Seconds

Okay, reframing is great. But what about when stress hits you physically?

💗 Racing heart.
😫 Tight chest.
😮‍💨 Shallow breathing.

You need a physical solution.

Enter: The Physiological Sigh (courtesy of Dr. Andrew Huberman).

Here's how it works:

1. Take a deep inhale through your nose into your belly (your stomach should expand, not your chest)
2. Take a second, shorter inhale through your nose (top off your lungs)
3. Long, slow exhale through your mouth (empty everything out)
4. Repeat 1-3 times if needed

Pro tip: Most people breathe into their chest (shallow breathing). You want to breathe into your diaphragm. Put your hand on your stomach. If it's not moving outward when you inhale, you're doing it wrong.

Why it works: The double inhale fully inflates your lungs, which allows for a deeper exhale. That removes excess CO2 and lowers your heart rate in real-time. It shifts you from fight-or-flight to calm in 10-15 seconds.

I'm not kidding...

If you wear a Whoop or Apple Watch, you can literally watch your heart rate drop.

Use it before family dinners (if your family likes talking politics), opening credit card statements (if you're in as much debt as I was), or stepping on the scale after Thanksgiving weekend (carbs, fat, bourbon, and regret 🙈).

I use this when I'm filming a YouTube video, podcast, or Instagram Reel.

I also used it countless times during our IVF journey when the anxiety would spike before appointments or test results.

It works.

The One Question That Changes Everything

Here’s the money shot... eh, I mean the big reframe that ties everything together.

Most people see stress as life happening to them.

• 🤨 "Why is this happening to me?"
• 😟 "Why do I have to deal with this?"
• 🥴 "Why can't things just be easy?"

Victim mindset. And I get it. I've been there.

But what if you flipped it?

What if life isn't happening to you, but for you?

• Holiday stress can teach you something.
• Financial pressure can force creativity.
• Family tension can expose missing boundaries.
• Physical stress can be the wake-up call you didn’t want, but needed.

When I was $70K in debt, it felt like the end of the world — until I realized it was pushing me toward growth, not punishing me.

It forced me to work harder, smarter, and build the business that changed my life. Without that stress, I wouldn't have my wife, my son, this business, or this life.

As Robert Griffin III once said, "No pressure, no diamonds." 💎

(Man gets a bad rap, his rookie year was electric. Knee injury ruined it.)

It sounds dramatic, but this truth goes way beyond business or football.

Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl survived Auschwitz by finding meaning in his suffering. He lost everything: his family, his freedom, his health.

But he held onto one belief: that suffering can have purpose.

That belief kept him alive when others gave up.

If stress can have meaning in a concentration camp, it can have meaning in your life too.

Think back to one of your proudest achievements... was the process leading up to it stressful?

Of course it was.

Would you have that achievement if you'd avoided the stress?

Probably not.

But instead of letting it break you, let it build you up by thinking and believing in your bones:

🔥 Stress isn't happening to you. It's happening for you.

What To Do Right Now

Stress isn't the enemy. It's fuel.

But only if you know how to use it.

Here are three things you can do this week:

1. Reframe your stress.

Next time stress hits, ask: "What does this reveal about what I care about?"

2. Use the Physiological Sigh.

Deep inhale into your belly, short top-off inhale, long exhale. Repeat 1-3 times.

3. Ask: How is this happening FOR me?

What is this stress teaching you? What strength is it building?

The holidays are stressful. That's not going to change.

But you can change how you respond.

💛 One More Thing: Help Families Fighting for Their Miracle

Earlier this week I shared our IVF journey and how we're raising money for families still fighting for their miracle.

If you missed it and want to help, USE THIS LINK TO DONATE. My wife and I are matching your donations dollar for dollar.

Your $50 becomes $100 for the next few days. Every dollar helps.

References:

1. Jamieson, J. P., Nock, M. K., & Mendes, W. B. (2012). Mind over matter: Reappraising arousal improves cardiovascular and cognitive responses to stress. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 141(3), 417-422. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0025719​